CAUTION: This blog may contain explicit and/or adult material.
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Friday, December 18, 2009
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When I finish school, I'll get a job! Then I'll be able to buy a desk! That way I'll be able to type with two hands! Imagine the increase in efficiency then! Or, my other hand will be free for me to use when I look at porn! ... And maybe I'll also buy a shirt that fits me!
ReplyDeleteLook at me! 21st Century Techno Boy!! Everything in my whole life, my job, my relationship, my friends, my interests, are contained within this device. I hardly have to move and I don't even ever have to use my voice! I am even physically nourished via USB!
ReplyDeleteOh, hello there! Surprised to see me out here? It's true, I'm a Basement-Dwelling-Warcraft-Player, but because I'm also a Preppy-Collar-Wearing-Calvin-Klein-Model, they let me outside from time to time. ...I'm still not that great at navigating the social world, but fortunately I had the foresight to upload my consciousness into this here device. That way if anything happens to me, I can still live on... as my Warcraft character, Nimbo.
ReplyDeleteYeah man, I tell ya what, man. That dang ol' Internet, man. You just go on there and point and click. Talk about W-W-dot-W-com. An' lotsa nekkid chicks on there, man. Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. It's real easy, man.
ReplyDeleteWait, why would I give you back your laptop?
ReplyDeleteI'm not finished reading your emails, and going through all your pictures.
What's this folder here, buried with your work . . . "not porno"? Very clever.
Man, you are into some weird shit. Is that even supposed to move that way?? Where did that donkey come from? Albino midgets wearing corsets??
Actually, I really like that kind of stuff, as is evidenced by my creepy smile.
Hang on now, "Contest With No Prize"?? Now *that's* where I draw the line.
Pervert.
Here, just take your contraband laptop back. I have to go scrub my eyeballs with bleach powder.
Brrrrrrp, pardon you! I've eaten so much over christmas and when I went to the toilet today, hooooweeee!
ReplyDeleteiPhone? PDA? I've got the whole damn computer, right here, right now. Beat that, suckas.
ReplyDelete