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Sigh... yeah, I guess success, fame, and power have their perks. But I really miss the good old days of being in the Kids in the Hall.
ReplyDeleteHarvard Education : $45,000
ReplyDeleteBuisness Suit : $1,200
Putter : $160
Gay little golf set: $20
Scoring a job where I can play golf on the conference room table while getting paid 6 figures a year, and people congratulate me on the excellent work I do : PRICELESS!
God, just look at me, just look! I'm just so WILD!! Look at me on this table, getting crazy with a GOLF SET no less! ohhh man, I'm just such a shenanigan-causer. Tie me up, ladies! I might ravage you in an uncontrollable fit of lust!! Wild men like me just can't be restrained.
ReplyDeleteAs my new secretary, I want you to know it's not always about point presentations, financial meetings and pie charts around here. I also like to let loose and practice my putting. Hey, boning up for the weekend when it's a Wednesday? Nothing wrong with that, am I right? Now watch this... I'm about to send it straight for the... uhhhh, what ever it's called... the uhhhh... greeeen thiiiiing... uuuhhhhhh... UUUhhhh... yeah, yeah, YEAH, YEAAAEAHH! UGH! Take off your top! Wait... what? Okay, fine- I was masturbating. It MY office! YOU'RE FIRED! Unless...
ReplyDeleteFine, maybe I can't putt well. But can YOU cough up your own liver and eat it again?
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm done this putt can you put the golf club in my bum?
ReplyDelete