CAUTION: This blog may contain explicit and/or adult material.
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Damn, this thing chafes.
ReplyDeleteHello, Bob? Yeah, I'm not going to make it to tonight's dinner party. Yeah no, sorry. Something... work-related... came up.
ReplyDeletedamn where is a washroom in this place? I need to, uh, open my bubblegum chute.
ReplyDeleteNo, this thing's not working at all. I've been walking up and down here for hours, and not one little kid has come over to 'turn my crank'. I'm going home and changing into my Michael Jackson costume. That thing works every time!!
ReplyDeleteI don’t know dude, it just seems like I can’t get fired no matter how hard I try... like, today I went to the Feitz-Harowitz merger meeting wearing a gumball machine bikini and a big pink wig. When I showed up, everyone started digging into their pockets for change... and here’s the sick part; I LET THEM put their quarters in and couple of the men gave me a “tug” if you hear what I’m sezzin.... No man, I can’t tonight, I’ll be in the shower. Yes, all night.
ReplyDeleteSure hun, porkchops tonite sounds fine. Yes, I'll finish the mowing when I get home from work, then I'll help Timmy with his science project. Ok, see you in a bit hun. Love you.
ReplyDeleteTony, listen, you booked me for the for war vets thing, for the NRA things, and now this Stephen Harper thing? Tony, let's just face it, you're a shitty agent. No, Tony, I don't care if our wives are friends. I almost got killed today. No, actually killed. It's over. Yes, of course I'm doing your grandpa's birthday. He's the only person you've ever booked me for who's fruitcakey enough to appreciate me.
ReplyDeleteNo, everything was okay except for the feather boa. Yeah, dude, they told me the boa was "too much". Their words, not mine.
ReplyDelete